Fallen
by MisguidedGhostTwilighter
Summary: A series of one-shots, each based on a song from Evanescence's album Fallen.
1. Chapter 1

_Fallen_

_Summary:_

A series of one-shots, each based on a song from Evanescence's album Fallen.

_A/N:_

Hey. I just wrote this when I was bored. If you like it, I've got another Fanfic similar to it: it's based on Paramore's album Brand New Eyes. This Fanfic, though, is based on Evanescence's album Fallen, as I said in the summary. Enjoy.

_Chapter One: Going Under_

I had a choice.

Take his hand, or walk away.

Taking his hand would be giving in, drowning again, losing reality again.

Walking away would be an impossible task, and it would rip my heart form my chest. But, maybe, I'd wake up for once.

"Bella, you owe me."

His words slice through the warm night air like a knife. A cool, sweet smelling, soft, velvety knife...

But what was that he said? _You owe me._

I turned to face him fully (because I had been half turned away for the past few minutes) and felt my eyes narrowing into two narrow, hate filled slits.

"I," I said slowly. "Owe you," I jabbed my finger into his chest, "Nothing. I owe you nothing. Not a single thing."

He laughed. The bastard laughed. (The gorgeous, romantic, charming bastard laughed...) Lust and fury boiled up inside me: lust for his melodic laugh, his perfect face, his chiselled chest; fury for how he dared to say I owed him, and how he dared to laugh at me! Bastard.

"Let me tell you why you owe me," he said, stepping closer and running his fingers down my cheek. My eyes closed half way and I shuddered. He was so close now; my fingers reached out to touch his chest, to slide up and rest on the back of his neck... He was everything, he was all around me. Subconsciously, my body moved closer to his, the primal sexual desire taking over. Everything about me was primal now: my love, my hate, my lust... I wanted him; I wanted him all over me, inside me. I wanted to... to...

To kill him.

I shoved him away with both hands. I pushed myself backwards, leaping up onto a fallen tree. The wind whooshed past me as I growled ferociously at him.

"No, let _me_ tell _you_! Let me tell you what I've done for you."

I walked slowly along the tree trunk, towards the tangle of the branches. The wood felt rough beneath my bare feet; the wind felt cool but warm against my skin as it tugged at my ripped and torn dress.

"Fifty thousand tears I've cried," I told him in a low, threatening voice as I pulled myself up through the thick branches. "Screaming, deceiving and _bleeding_ for you!" I shouted as I jumped up to the branch of a standing tree then swung there for a few second by my arms before dropping down to the ground.

"And you _still _won't hear me," I murmured, walking slowly back towards him.

He was standing still in the middle of the clearing, the wind rustling the grass around his feet and playing in his hair. His hair that I wanted to run my hands through; his hair that I wanted to tear out from the roots.

"I do hear you," he said, reaching his hand out towards me. His skin looked beautiful in the moonlight; my fingers itched to reach out and touch his, as always. "You'll get hurt on your own, Bella. You don't know what you're doing. I need to save you, to help you. I only want what's best for you."

He was right. Of course he was right. I needed him like I needed air to breathe, like I needed a heart beat. He was like a cool oasis in a desert: a terrifying desert of the unknown.

But I didn't need any of those things anymore. I didn't need air, or a heart beat, or water. For a second, he tricked me. But not anymore.

"There you go again," I countered, casting his outstretched hand a brief, disgusted glare. "Blurring the truth; stirring the truth and the lies."

"I'm not lyi-"

"Yes you are! You're always confusing the thoughts in my head, so I don't know what's real and what's not! Just leave me alone! Just shut up, shut up!" I shrieked.

"Bella," he murmured, his voice always calm and soothing and gentle. "Bella, calm down, you're going to hurt yourself."

"No, get away from me!"

He was walking towards me, his arms outstretched. "Bella, you don't know your own strength; let me help you."

He was so hard to resist. He was all around me again, and I wanted that: I wanted protection; I wanted love. All over again, he overtook me; he was all around me, completing me. I shrunk into his chest, my hands tracing every inch of him. He was my guardian and my lover. We could be passionate; this was all I wanted. Blood and sex; sex and blood.

I pressed myself up against him; his fingers roved everywhere over my skin, every touch another pinprick of lust, another spark inside me, another throb between my legs. My fingers tangled in his hair, pulling his face closer to mine; pulling myself up towards him, wrapping my legs around his waist and holding myself there. His hands were on my ass, my thighs, the inside of my thighs... he was so close to where I wanted him; I was breathing heavily, my chest heaving against him; his lips pressed against my breast, biting and nibbling the skin there. It was felt so good... but not as good as it could do.

I threw him to the ground, sitting straddled on top of him and ripped away his clothes. He was so good... so nearly inside of em now, touching all the right places...

"You see, Bella," I heard him whisper to me. "You see..."

"No!" I yelled, jumping away and into the branches of a far away tree. I was furious now; he'd tricked me again. Bastard, cunt, mother fucking son-of-a-bitch!

"Ugh, Bella!" he growled. He was mad now; his hands were curled into fists and his teeth were bared. "Get back here, you worthless whore! You stupid bitch!"

Now wasn't the time to fight, even though I so wanted to rip and tear and destroy. If I went back, I would be seduced again, and that couldn't happen. So I tore away, through the trees, throwing myself through the air. I didn't know where I was going; I was just getting away; getting away from that monster.

I knew I'd escaped when his scent was completely gone; when I could no longer sense him nearby. Then, I was safe; then I could stop and rejoice in my escape.

"Go on!" I bellowed up at the sky. "Go on and scream at me! I'm so far away, I won't be broken again! I won't!"

I fell into cackles of laughter and let myself tumble to the ground. I was free: a wild animal, a vampire, free to live out the wild, primal life that I wanted to live. I could have blood, and I could have sex: it was mine, all mine, because I was queen of the world.

I will never drown again.

_A/N:_

By the way, this was based on Evanescence's song _Going Under_.


	2. Chapter 2

_Fallen_

_A/N:_

I know the obvious thing for this song: Jacob and Bella in New Moon. So I'm not going to do that. I'm going to Rosalie/Alice, because that's a pairing I want to explore. Oh, and lesbian sexual scene ahead. Just so ya know.

_Chapter Two: Bring Me to Life_

She had changed so much. I closed my eyes, and the Alice I saw there, in my mind, was nothing like this one that stood before me now. She was a shadow of her former self; a faded tapestry; a withered snowdrop. Her beautiful delicacy had paled into weak, almost scary fragility. Her white skin, which used to be like sunlight reflecting off snow, had turned almost grey. Her once perfectly defined cheekbones had sunk and become two terrifying, skeletal hollows on either side of her face.

Only her eyes remained recognisable, and even they had dimmed a little. They used to remind me of moonlight shining on a lake: deep, and just bright enough to be full of life; illuminating enough to show the beauty, but dark enough to house a thousand intriguing secret thoughts and feelings.

That was the Alice I used to know; that was the Alice that I had spent countless days daydreaming about; that was the Alice that I had spent countless nights sitting up with. It hadn't mattered where we were or what we were doing; just so long as we were together, everything was perfect. That sounds corny, but that was how it was: with Alice, I could be freed from all my troubles, all my inhibitions. She gave me release; I could confide in her, or just sit beside her saying nothing.

But then she left: the angel was pulled back up to heaven; the fairy princess was taken back to her kingdom. She left as suddenly and silently as she had arrived, and I was alone again. I learnt to live with it. I pushed myself further into my other life, which had to become my whole life. There was no midnight romance, not anymore. However, even now, I sometimes felt an overpowering desire to just sit outside in the moonlight, letting it touch me in a way that the sun never could.

Now, though, I felt like my heart was shattering and mending and shattering again, a thousand times over, because Alice was here, in front of me; it was moment I'd been silently dreaming of for so long, but she was so... different. I felt like a small child learning that Santa wasn't real; like a little girl seeing her mommy cry for the first time; like everything I'd ever believed in had been ripped to pieces before my very eyes.

She hadn't seen me here; I was sure of that. She was on the other side of the park, to the right of a clump of aging oak trees, and the sunlight seemed to be making her darker. It was like she was under a rain cloud, like in a cartoon. I wanted to erase the rain cloud; I knew that I had to take over her role: she used to heal me, now I had to heal her.

Because she was undeniably, impossibly broken. Snapped like a twig; ground to pieces under a boot. But who's boot...?

I saw him as soon as I removed my eyes from Alice. He was standing over her, his hand hovering just behind her tiny back. He stood a good two feet taller than her, and his hard, square face and tiny eyes held a hidden, shielded hatred and violence. Sitting on the grass by Alice's feet were two children: an adorable little girl with black hair who was almost identical to Alice, and an older, bigger boy who had the man's square jaw and harsh features.

My feet moved instantly forward, and then stumbled back a little. She was married to this man: it was obvious. And those were their children... Oh, Alice, poor darling little Alice. She had to go through that... oh, why? I had always hoped that she'd run away and was living the life she deserved somewhere else. I never dreamt of this; if I had have done, I would have searched the Earth until I found her and then rescued her from the clutches of this foul monster. He was reason she has faded into a grey and black picture of herself; he was to blame for the tired eyes and submissive pose of her shoulders.

As I stood there, wavering on the brink of murderous fury and indescribable fear, Alice saw me. Or, she looked into me. She found me, and with her lifeless eyes she spoke to me. She bestowed up onto me the last ounce of feeling and hope she had left.

I had to save her, I vowed. She needed my help, and I would save her.

That night, I walked back to the park. I had a feeling she would be there; something in her eyes had said 'meet me here'.

She was in front of me before I even spotted her. Her arms were around my waist, her tiny face pressed into my chest. I comforted her, inhaling the smell of her: it was different; her old mint shampoo was gone, replaced by strawberries.

_Her choice or his?_

"Oh, Rosalie," she whispered, her tiny voice desperate and pleading and yet still so beautiful. "Oh, Rosalie, I am so glad you came, so glad. How... how did you know, though? How can you see into my eyes, like they're open doors? It was like you went straight down to my core, where I've become so numb after all these years. It's like... like I haven't got a soul, and my spirit's been sleeping somewhere cold..."

I smiled, despite the fury I felt at _him_, whoever he was, for taking my Alice and treating her so cruelly. But I smiled, because he hadn't been able to squash her completely: she was still as poetic and over the top and emotional as ever.

I stroked her hair, which had grown long and straight down her back. Then I slid my hands round to cup her chin and lift her head up so that I could look at her face. Here, in the moonlight, she looked a little healthier, even though most of the glimmer in her large black eyes was form tears; tears that she had been holding inside for so many years.

"Until you found it there," she continued; her voice, which had been so weak a few seconds ago, suddenly had a new intensity and strength. Her hands were pressed against either side of my face. "And led it back home. To you. To me. To us."

I slid my hands around her waist, holding her closer to me. She felt so frail, but I knew that it was so right that she was here again, with me. I felt like I'd been freezing cold for years, but now she was back, and we were skin to skin, and suddenly I was warm again. It wasn't a gradual warming up process: it was sudden, and such a relief.

"Wake me up," I whispered, resting my forehead against Alice's.

"Wake me up," she echoed.

"Wake me up inside," we said together; her breath tickled my face.

"Bid my blood to run," Alice murmured, her lips pressing briefly against my cheek. "Before I come undone." Her lips touched me again, for a little longer this time.

I searched for her mouth with mine, trying to lock our lips together.

"Save me," I whispered, as our lips brushed together briefly and tantalisingly.

"Save me from this nothing I've become," Alice said passionately, as our lips collided for our second time, and I pulled her into a long, sweet, ardent kiss.

My hands moved up her back, tugging at the thin fabric of her dress; her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling at it just enough that it almost hurt. It was on the edge of pain, as we tugged at each other and our teeth nipped at each other's lips. It was enough to draw blood: so different from our old, romantic kisses of so long ago, but we were older now and years of nothingness had made us hungry for more.

Her hand started to slide down into my jeans, her tiny fingers reaching past the waistband. They brushed underneath my pants, and I shuddered. But she was moving too slowly for me; I kissed her harder and pushed her backwards onto the ground, all the time ripping her dress out of the way.

She joined in with my frenzied tearing: suddenly, my jeans and vest top were gone, tossed far away. We didn't need them anymore; we could just stay here, together; making love forever.

Quickly, I undid Alice's bra. Her nipples hardened under my fingers as I touched them in the way she liked: rubbing motions, round and round in circles, getting gradually faster.

Alice was kissing down my neck, each kiss halfway between a bite and a caress. Then her mouth found my nipples; I moaned quietly as her teeth nipped at them. I moved my hand down Alice's back, tracing her straight spine, until I reached her thighs. Then I slowly moved my hand inwards, between her legs; her hand shot down there instantly, and she grabbed mine and pressing it against her clit. I slid my index finger inside of her, and she made a quiet squeaking sound. I pushed my finger inside further and Alice's nails dug into my breasts, which she was still holding with her other hand.

I massaged her clit with my thumb; she groaned and pressed herself harder against me, her ankles locking together behind my back. I could feel her quick breathing on my neck as she pushed herself right up against me, as close as she could get.

And then she wasn't the only one panting: I was, too, because Alice's hand was suddenly pressing hard against my clit, rubbing it in quick circles. Her finger slid up inside me and I sighed with relief: this was what I'd been waiting for for years.

For a few moments, there was nothing but our rapid breathing the sensations: the pure ecstasy of being together, touching, as close as possible, both of us on the verge of an orgasm.

"I love you," I whispered, as we both came at the same time.

We stayed close together, our hair brushing each other's faces, our arms and legs entangled. I wanted to touch her: to know that she was here and this was real.

...

"I have to go."

The words came in the midst of a kiss; a sweet, slow, smooth kiss, like the kisses we used to share years ago, except with a new electricity. The words were unexpected, and they cut through my joy like a knife, severing it when it could have gone on for so much longer; for ever.

"What? Why?"

I tried to pull her lips back to mine, to hold her against me tighter, but she was pulling away. I couldn't lose her again, not again. Please, no, not again.

"I have to go," she repeated, getting to her feet and avoiding my eyes.

"You can't just leave me!" I cried passionately, jumping up to stand in front of her. I clasped her hands in between mine. She still wouldn't look at me. "Not now I know what I'm without! You can't just leave me. Please, kiss me again, stay with me. Breathe into me again and make me real!"

I bent down and used my hand to lift Alice's head up, so that she was looking into my eyes. Her eyes were shining with tears, as were mine. How could we share something so perfect and then let it go? How could she get up and walk away after that?

"You bring me to life, Rosalie," she whispered, her eyes intense as she stared back at me. A tear slithered down my cheek. Something about the way she said the words sounded odd; like there was more to come.

"And, I've been living a lie. There's been nothing inside of me, because I was waiting for you to come and fill me up," Alice continued, her hands moving slowly up my arms to my shoulders. "But..." she shook her head slowly, and then let it fall forward to rest against me. "But I can't stay with you. I can't just run away. I've got... I've got kids, Rosalie. I can't leave them... can't leave them with him."

"Then let's go and get them!"

She shook her head again. "If I go back there, I won't be able to leave again. I won't... He won't..."

I cradled Alice against me. I had to fight; had to keep her here. But all the energy had drifted out of me. I had nothing left.

"Only you, Alice, are the life among the dead," I swore to her. She had to know how much she meant to me; she had to know.

"If he catches me, I will be dead. And if I don't go back to him, the kids will be dead."

And so she - my whole life, my whole world, my everything - walked away from me. We both had tears falling down her cheeks. I pressed my hand to the spot where some of her tears had left a damp patch: that was the only physical thing of Alice I had left.


	3. Chapter 3

_Fallen_

_A/N:_

This is all human, and it's a bit weird... The big chunk of writing in italics is a dream, just in case you don't work that out... Okay, I hope this is good, and stuff.

_Chapter Three: Everybody's Fool_

Photographs. Shiny, vibrant, fucking photographs. They capture a moment; a moment that holds a million lies and a million truths. That was what I'd always loved about looking at photos and taking them. I loved how you could capture more than an image; how, if you snapped the picture at the perfect moment, you could capture emotions and secrets and, sometimes, the whole essence of a person or a relationship.

I'd always taken candids, because then it was raw and realistic. Then, I would have images of life itself, in all it's beauty.

_Beauty_. Ugh. I used to think life was beautiful; I used to think that there was always a positive. I used to think that I knew myself and all my friends and family. I used to be _happy_.

Now, these photographs – these freeze-frames of my life and thoughts – look fake. Because, now, I can see that everyone is always acting. That candid image of my best friend smiling and laughing? _Fake_. She wasn't happy: she was dying inside. That brief kiss that my parent's shared on a long family walk through the park? _Fake_. They hated each other. That snapshot of the moment when my boyfriend presented me with a wooden heart with the words 'I Love You' carved into it? _Fake_. He was just playing a game to get into my pants.

So, yeah. My whole life, everything – every one – who mattered; it was all fake. Fucking fake. A fucking lie. So what was the point, then? What was the point in me taking all these photos of _truth _of _real feeling_, when they were all posing, pretending, plotting?

The pictures are lying in a scattered pile in front of me on the floor. I wish they would go away; I wish they would stop jeering up at me and taunting me. They're saying: what, you believed this? Really? You honestly believed that he would love _you_? You honestly believed that marriage really meant _until death do us part_? You honestly believed that your best friend was as carefree as you thought? You honestly believed that life was that easy?

_You stupid little girl_.

A tear drop falls onto the glossy photo of my elder brother – the only one I have – and I don't bother to rub it away. I might aswell blur him out of the photo aswell, like he's been blurred out of my memory.

It was five years ago; five years ago when he was run down by that van. I was only thirteen; he was seventeen. He was going away to university, studying music. The van ran him over and killed him.

I've slowly forgotten him. Slowly forgotten quite what his laugh was like, what colour his eyes were, how he would brush his hair off his face – was it with his left hand, or his right? I can't remember.

It's all blurred away, and fuck do I feel guilty. So much for being the good little sister; the doting little girl; the admiring baby sister. So much for _I will never forget you_.

I'd thought that that – losing my brother – was the only bad thing that would happen in my life. Because everyone has one bad thing, and that had been mine. So I was safe.

Yeah, right.

I close my eyes and lean back until I'm lying on my back on my bedroom floor. My hoodie is lying in a rumpled mess beside me, so I grab it and push it under my head as a pillow.

I roll onto my side and glance at the clock on my phone – a phone that hasn't received any texts or calls for three weeks – and the glowing numbers read 23:47. Just past quarter to twelve.

I blindly kick at the photographs with my bare feet, but my toes just slide over their shiny surfaces. Damn photos.

I curl my legs up near my chest, wrap my arms across them and close my eyes. The floor is hard and uncomfortable, and my jeans button is digging into me, but I can't be bothered to change into my pyjamas, so I just ignore it and go to sleep.

_My best friend. She is standing on the other side of a padded cell; I have my back pressed against the closed – I shake the handle – locked door. I'm locked in here with her, and I feel a vague sense of panic. I close my eyes. _

_Open them again._

_She is right there. Her brown eyes, with their thick black lashes, are staring right at me. Or... through me. She is smiling a full on grin, but her eyes are dead and empty, seeing nothing. _

_I raise my right hand slowly, fingers spread wide, palm facing towards her. She mirrors the action and our palms press together. Her skin feels like metal. _

"_Alice," someone whispers. _

_I raise my head, because it's my name. There is no one there. _

"_Alice," is whispered again. _

_This time I turn around all the way. I'm facing a corridor where the door was a few moments before. At the far end is a figure, dressed in a sweeping white cloak._

"_Alice," it – he, she? I can't tell – whispers again. _

"_The photographs," I shout at the figure. _

"_They are," it replies. _

_This makes sense to me. _

_I start to walk down the corridor. The walls are silver and sloping in towards the ceiling. The floor. The ceiling is the floor. I am walking along it; sheets of silk drift in front of me and then float away. Finally, I reach the figure. _

"_Who are you?" I ask. _

"_Perfect by nature," she responds. _

"_Icons of self indulgence," sing a chorus of voices. They are the voices of four other cloaked figures, each in different colours: green, red, pink, blue._

_Another figure appears, this time in yellow. "Just what we all need," that figure sings. _

_The red-cloaked figure out stretches it's hand toward me. I'm suddenly furious. _

"_More lies!" I yell at the yellow figure. "More lies about a world that never was and never will be!" _

"_Have you no shame?" The yellow figure asks quietly. "Don't you see me?" _

_I turn to the figure in pink. "You know you've got everybody fooled," I tell it. _

_The green figure's hand reaches toward me. _

"_Look, here she comes now," I say in a whiny, mocking voice. _

_I watch as Rosalie – my boyfriend's new girlfriend – struts along as a projection on the wall. _

"_Bow down and stare in wonder," I continue in a sarcastic tone. "Oh how we love you!" I shout at my boyfriend as his face appears. "No flaws when you're pretending!" _

_The blue figure stepped forward and breathed on my face. I turned and slid a short way down the corridor, back towards the cell. My best friend was standing there in the doorway, both her hands over her eyes. _

"_But now I know she," I murmured, my eyes filling with warm tears. "Never was and never will be." My throat tightened as the first tear tumbled down my face. _

"_You don't know!" My brother shouted. _

_He was above me, standing on a floating glass podium. _

"_How you've betrayed me!" he yelled, his hands shaking by his side. _

_I try to reach out to him with my hands, but he shuns me. His face blurs as he glares down at me. _

"_And somehow you've got everybody fooled," I whisper to myself. _

Then I wake up.

I wipe the tears from my eyes and sit up, because I don't want to leave my head on the hoodie which is soaked with tears.

For the first time in months, I let myself think through everything that has happened: my brother was run over by a car when he was seventeen; my best friend suffered from depression and anorexia; my parents fell out of love and divorced.

It was real. It was real stuff happening to real people. Real people like me, who feel real emotions. Of course, some people lie and pose and pretend; but even when they're pretending they are real people pretending to be different real people, for real reasons.

None of it is fake. It's all _real_.

I look down at the photos: the shiny snapshots of my past, present and future.

"I know the truth now," I whispered.

_A/N:_

So, I know that chapter was more than a little weird... so, for this one, I really, really need your reviews, because I want to know what you thought about all the figures in the dream and all that other stuff. And, if any of you want me to explain what I meant by all that dream symbolism, please tell me.

I hope you liked it, anyway.


	4. Author's Note

Author's Note:

I'll keep this short: I'm done. I'm not going to be writing any of my twilight fanfics anymore, because I'm not interested in twilight anymore.

Basically, this is what happened: I'd already been tiring of twilight for a while – in fact, the fanfics had been my only link to the whole thing for a long time – and then I went to see Deathly Hallows Part 2 with my family. And I became obsessed. I remembered what I'd been missing for so long, and I went back to my childhood and Harry Potter. I went home and I re-read the whole series. I think I was half-way through Chamber of Secrets when I decided that I was going to become more obsessed with this than I ever was with twilight. And that's really saying a lot.

So, I write Harry Potter fanfics now, on my new account, ravenclawhalfbloodprince. I don't know if any of you will want to, but if you do, check out my new stuff. I'm also going to move some of my one-shots to my new accounts at some point.

That's about it. Sorry if you really liked this stuff or anything. Thanks for reading, and reviewing if you did. All of that really did mean a lot to me, honest. But I'm moving on to a Harry Potter era now. So, have fun reading whatever you read, guys.

Bye.


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